


broken zipper and cigarette burns

by hyucksicles



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Attempt at Humor, Cheating, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Getting Back Together, M/M, Post-Break Up, Semi-Public Sex, jaehyuck are dumb and very much still in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:48:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24413863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyucksicles/pseuds/hyucksicles
Summary: Donghyuck tells himself that the only reason he's headed towards his ex-boyfriends workplace right now is to return the leather jacket that Jaehyun had left at his place all those months ago.Yeah, that's all it is.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Comments: 48
Kudos: 393





	broken zipper and cigarette burns

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to another contribution to the ever-growing jaehyuck enthusiasts community !!
> 
> i had a lot of fun writing this as it kind of flowed together quite easily for once :D huge shoutout to my beta as always <3 (love u bub) 
> 
> please enjoy !! 
> 
> love u all xx
> 
> (P.S. gold star for anyone who knows where the title is from!)

Donghyuck welcomes the cool night air that hits him as soon as he steps out of the club. The cool breeze mixes with the coat of sweat on his skin, goosebumps erupting , hair standing on edge. He walks past the few people still standing in line outside the club, catching wisps of the clouds of cigarette smoke as he passes them by. 

The scent clings uncomfortably to his skin and his clothes, making his face scrunch up in distaste, not because of the smell itself but because of the memory that’s tied to it. One that reminds him of nights out on the balcony until the sun would rise above the city skyline, of a deep rumbling voice, and warm lips pressed against his. Lips that taste like cigarettes. 

Donghyuck pushes the memory down along with the nausea he feels from having downed one too many of the shots at the start of his night. His lips still tingle from where they’ve been bitten raw by the handsome stranger who had come up behind him on the dance floor, hands on Donghyucks hips as they swayed to the music. Donghyuck had swallowed up the attention, allowing the music to move them both with their lips locked together, calloused fingers on the exposed stretch of Donghyuck’s crop top. 

Now, however, Donghyuck feels the familiar sensation of guilt trickle into his mind and down his body, mixing with the alcohol in his stomach and forcing the taste of bile into his mouth. It’s silly, really, because Donghyuck shouldn’t be feeling this way, but that’s the thing about feelings, isn’t it? They’re rarely predictable and often a mess. 

The cold wind suddenly feels much harsher against Donghyuck’s bare abdomen that is exposed to the world, causing him to wrap his arms around the area as he continues his trek to the side of the road. 

He waits for a few minutes, watching the scattered cars that constitute the two am traffic passing him by.The headlights cast shadows across his face as he stands there and his ears still ring from the heavy bass of the club, One that he can still feel even from out here.

Donghyuck eventually flags down a taxi, reciting his address to the driver before slumping down in the back seat. His arms continue to try and warm up his belly as he lets his head lull to the side until it hits the glass window of the cab, idly watching as the city lights pass him by.

A song hums low from the car's speakers up front. It’s a melody Donghyuck recognizes, but wishes he didn’t. 

It makes him think of the times he had slow danced to it in the middle of his apartment’s small living room, furniture pushed to the side with nothing but the light from the open kitchen door and the glow of the moon filtering in through the balcony to brighten up the dark. He remembers the arm wrapped around his waist while the other held their hands together as they swayed, softly, gently, to the slow melodious tone of the song.

Donghyuck closes his eyes as he feels himself pulled back to that moment in time. A moment that seems eternal, frozen and kept safe within the chords of the song and resurfaces with the words that filter through the car's radio. Donghyuck can almost hear the ghost of a laugh against the shell of his ear, feel the remnants of a touch against his skin, and a hand pushing a strand of his overgrown fringe out of his face. 

With his eyes closed, Donghyuck can picture him perfectly. The image of Jaehyun burns vivid in his mind, sculpted with curved and soft lines, eyes that disappear into a smile, and those damn dimples so prominent on his cheeks.

_Too good to be good for me... ___

___Too bad that that’s all I need… ____ _

_____All I need… ____ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck forces his eyes open as the last line of the song fades out, the silence quickly overtaken by a catchy pop tune that Donghyuck has heard playing one too many times at the retail store he works at._ _ _ _ _

_____He’s thankful for the shift in atmosphere that it brings, the air around him no longer suffocating as he regains the ability to breathe._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck ignores the wetness in his eyes as he refocuses on the buildings that blur past him, letting his mind go blank._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____The door of Donghyuck’s small city apartment clicks shut behind him as he enters, the faint sound of sirens mingled with traffic still audible as it drifts through the balcony doors he always leaves open. There’s not really any robbery attempt to fear when you live on the sixteenth floor._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck flicks on the lights and glances around the confined space, finding it to be in disarray. This comes as no surprise, seeing as every time Donghyuck claims he’ll finally take the time to tidy the whole thing up, something more important climbs to the top of his priority list._ _ _ _ _

_____Although, the honest truth is Donghyuck doesn’t really find it in himself to care._ _ _ _ _

_____The clock on the wall above his kitchen door reads 2:39 am as he strolls inside. The queasiness of his stomach had calmed down a bit on the ride home, causing Donghyuck’s hunger to make itself known with a low growl._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yeah, yeah, I get it.”_ _ _ _ _

_____He responds to the sound of protest as he pries open the freezer door and successfully manages to remove two slices of toast from their plastic prison before placing them in the silver hand-me-down toaster that stands in the corner of the kitchen counter, one side of it charred from an embarrassing accident that Donghyuck would prefer no one know about._ _ _ _ _

_____There is someone who knows about it though, his brain supplies, completely unhelpful._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck refuses to acknowledge the echo of a deep, rich laughter that bounces off the walls of his mind and into the kitchen space, instead focussing all his energy into staring at the toaster, waiting for the bread slices to pop up._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____After finishing his honourable 3am meal, two slightly burnt — only slightly, he swears — pieces of toast with butter smeared on top, Donghyuck shuffles past his bedroom door into the adjacent bathroom._ _ _ _ _

_____He discards his clothes, letting them fall into the ever-growing pile of clothing that has been accumulating on his bathroom floor for a few days now, mentally making a note to finally throw all of it into the washing machine._ _ _ _ _

_____The warmth of the water envelops Donghyuck as soon as he steps under the stream. Since none of his neighbours in the apartment complex shower at this hour — for obvious reasons — he’s always guaranteed hot water._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuk scrubs at the remnants of makeup on his face and lets the water wash off the sweat that clings to his body and the matted hair on his forehead. He cranes his neck, rolling it around as he lets his muscles relax with the help of the heat, hoping that somehow the water will wash away all the feelings of guilt and regret that plague him._ _ _ _ _

_____He knows it doesn’t work that way, but a guy can dream._ _ _ _ _

_____The bathroom floor tiles are cold against his feet after Donghyuck finally decides he’s soaked up enough water for the night, or well morning, technically. He removes the towel from its hanger in order to dry off his body, ruffling it through his hair briefly before wrapping it around his hips._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck then turns towards the bathroom mirror, running his hands over his exhausted looking face before deciding to make use of the few skincare products he has for his nightly — again, more accurately, morning — routine._ _ _ _ _

_____As Donghyuck pads back into his bedroom he lets the towel fall from his hips, shaking out his hair and watches the droplets of water fall to the ground. He grabs some soft pyjama shorts from one of his drawers and slips them on before deciding to throw on a hoodie as well seeing as the nights have turned cold this past month._ _ _ _ _

_____He pulls the piece of clothing over his head, plopping onto his bed with a small bounce. Only then does the familiar scent of Jaehyun's cologne hit him. The smell of wood sage, sea salt, and a hint of cigarette smoke crashes over Donghyuck along with a wave of memories that he doesn't want to relive, not when Jaehyun has been plaguing his mind the entire night already._ _ _ _ _

_____Still, he can't bring himself to take the thing off. The hoodie is warm and comfortable against his bare skin, the fabric reaches all the way down to his thighs, and the sleeves hang past his hands._ _ _ _ _

_____Despite his best efforts, Donghyuck can't resist the urge to melt into it, allowing himself to take in the familiar smell once again._ _ _ _ _

_____He whines half-heartedly into the silence of his room, feeling pathetic and annoyed at himself for being so weak._ _ _ _ _

_____It's been months. Months. Yet Donghyuck can't seem to get over the man who got too close for comfort, the one who got to pry into Donghyuck's heart and take a peek at every inch of it._ _ _ _ _

_____Sighing, Donghyuck slides down his bed frame and brings his sheets up to his nose, ready to drift off into sleep in hopes of shutting off his thoughts for a few hours. That doesn’t happen, however, because just before he’s about to close his eyes he catches sight of the jacket that hangs over his desk chair._ _ _ _ _

_____It's a vintage brown leather jacket, made back in the 1980's and was apparently tailored for one of the members of a local rock band in Jaehyun's father's home town — or at least that was the story Jaehyun would always tell him. The jacket is well kept, not a single tear or scratch on its surface and the material still has a shine to it despite its age, the love Jaehyun had for it clearly evident in all its features._ _ _ _ _

_____A pang of guilt hits Donghyuck at the realization that he had never given it back._ _ _ _ _

_____The jacket has always been so dear to Jaehyun, it makes Donghyuck feel wrong just looking at the thing thrown over his own desk chair, not knowing how he hadn't taken notice of it before._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck decides right then and there that he has to take it back, not only because it was of importance to his former lover but also because maybe, just maybe, if Donghyuck gets rid of the memoirs from their relationship he'll finally be able to get over Jaehyun._ _ _ _ _

_____Technically this means he should return the hoodie as well, but Donghyuck decides against it. Selfish, yes, and probably not the healthiest choice, but Donghyuck doesnt think he could ever part with the warm piece of clothing that wraps him up perfectly._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck falls asleep easily, the smell of cologne and cigarettes tickling at his nose._ _ _ _ _

_____ _ _ _

_____It’s on a Wednesday afternoon two weeks later that Donghyuck finds himself walking down the street where the car repair shop that Jaehyun works at is located. The afternoon sun stands proud in its place, rays casting a golden light onto the city and pleasantly warming its citizens. While Donghyuck definitely appreciates the balmy caress of the sunlight on his skin, he imagines being stuck working on a car even in the slight heat to be rather uncomfortable. Jaehyun had never seemed to mind much however, Donghyuck couldn't recall him ever complaining about his job._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun had started working at the shop a few years back and had grown greatly attached to the place and to its owner, who seemed to like Jaehyun just as much. Even though he loved the place, the goal for Jaehyun had always been to rise up the rank in order to work as a mechanic for big companies like Ford or Chevrolet._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck was always sure that he could do whatever he set his mind to — he still is. After all, if there is one word that describes Jaehyun best, it’s determined._ _ _ _ _

_____The buzzing of various machinery greets Donghyuck’s ears as he approaches the shop and he takes note of the garage doors that are thrown wide open, presumably to let in gusts of wind into the oven that must be the small workspace._ _ _ _ _

_____His eyes search the area as he steps closer, just barely passing over the threshold that separates the inside of the garage from the sidewalk. A nervous feeling bubbles up in his stomach and the weight of the leather jacket in the backpack that’s slung over his shoulder gets heavier by each passing second._ _ _ _ _

_____It would be so easy to just turn around and leave, to just mail Jaehyun the jacket instead and call it a day so he never has to speak to the man ever again. Donghyuck considers it for a split second before his eyes catch sight of a brown tuft of hair peeking out from behind the car on the far end._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck sighs and squeezes his eyes shut for just a moment before he opens them again, letting out a puff of air that hopefully contains all his nerves as well. Gathering his courage, he strolls over to the car furthest away from him._ _ _ _ _

_____He recognizes the model as a red 1966 shelby. A tasteful choice for a vintage mustang, its freshly redone paint-job glistening in the afternoon sun. Donghyuck isn’t a cars conoussier by any means but Jaehyun had taught him a lot during their time together, always pointing out famous car models in movies or during their walks through the city. Sometimes he would take pictures of the cars he’d be working on and send them to Donghyuck while gushing about how excited he was to be able to work on that specific build. The knowledge has stuck with Donghyuck and it probably will for the rest of his life._ _ _ _ _

_____“Beautiful car,” Donghyuck says, his voice coming out a little raspy and not like his own as his fingers hover slightly above the shiny red paint, careful not to touch._ _ _ _ _

_____He hears a chuckle come from behind the car, the sound filling Donghyuck’s stomach with a familiar warmth as Jaehyun stands up, his tall frame coming into view._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yeah, well, she’s not mine unfortunately—”_ _ _ _ _

_____A stagnant pause fills the room as Jaehyun realizes that Donghyuck is the owner of the voice that had just spoken to him. His eyes quickly drop to the floor instead of keeping level with the younger._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh, hey, Hyuck. What brings you here?”_ _ _ _ _

_____The nickname rolls easily off his tongue despite his casual tone sounding anything but and it hurts Donghyuck more than he cares to admit._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun stands there just as Donghyuck remembers him. His well-built frame stands tall, with well defined muscles that are tinged with beautiful swirlings of blank ink peeking out just above the black tank top that clings to his sweat covered skin. His honey brown fringe falls below his eyebrows, matted down at the tips. It seems that he hasn’t cut his hair much since Donghyuck last saw him. The longer strands suit him, Donghyuck thinks idly as an involuntary smile tugs at his lips._ _ _ _ _

_____He doesn't realize that he’s just been staring without answering Jaehyun’s question until he finally meets Donghyuck’s eye, his brows raised._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh,” Donghyuck starts, his mind reeling to come up with some sort of an explanation. “Uh just— you know. Just passing through and thought I might stop by. Maybe looking to buy some… car air fresheners.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck holds back a wince as he watches Jaehyun’s tilt his head, his eyes narrow at Donghyuck’s obvious lie._ _ _ _ _

_____“Uh huh.” Jaehyun crosses his arms and Donghyuck’s eyes unconsciously flicker to the way his biceps flex with the motion. “You don't own a car though?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Nice going, Donghyuck, you absolute dumbass. He plays it off with a chuckle, hoping it doesn’t sound as constricted as he feels._ _ _ _ _

_____“Right well… it's for a friend. You remember Jaemin, right? His car always smells musty.” Donghyuck pats himself on the back for the admittedly less than shabby recovery, yet he still bites his teeth as he waits for Jaehyun’s reply._ _ _ _ _

_____“Um, okay.” Jaehyun seems to give him the benefit of the doubt andDonghyuck’s shoulders sag in relief. “Is that really all? Because if it is then I should get back to work before— ”_ _ _ _ _

_____“No!” Donghyuck bites down on his tongue at how quickly he interjected, a rosy colour rising to the apples of his cheeks. He clears his throat, lowering his voice for the next few words he lets out._ _ _ _ _

_____“No, actually, that's not all. I...” Donghyuck opens and closes his mouth — not unlike a fish out of water — as he thinks of the leather jacket hidden away behind the zipper of his backpack. His fingers fiddle with the straps as his eyes meet Jaehyun’s again, who waits there expectantly. “I was wondering if maybe you would like to go get a drink sometime?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Before he knows it, the words are out of his mouth and Donghyuck can barely stop himself from smacking a hand over his lips. That was definitely not the question Donghyuck had spent hours rehearsing in the back of his mind._ _ _ _ _

_____Even Jaehyun looks surprised at the question. His hands fly up to his hair and he runs his fingers through his fringe a couple of times in that age-old habit of his, clearly caught off guard by the whole situation._ _ _ _ _

_____“I, um— ”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Jaehyun!”_ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun is cut off by the rather shrill shout of a young woman that suddenly appears on Donghyuck’s right, startling him with her presence. She plants herself right next to Jaehyun, her hands curling around one of Jaehyun’s heavily tattooed arms._ _ _ _ _

_____“Who’s this, Jaehyun?”_ _ _ _ _

_____The fake tone to her voice is enough to make Donghyuck want to physically recoil in disgust but he holds it in, eyes briefly assessing her peroxide blonde hair, her rather revealing top and the shorts that barely cover her ass. She’s pretty, Donghyuck will give her that, but there’s something about her that tickles Donghyuck in all the wrong places._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh uh, Donghyuck is….” he trails off for a brief second, a bittersweet smile crossing his features for the fraction of a moment, “he’s an old friend of mine.” The term stings at Donghyuck’s heart, but he can’t truly bring himself to take offense._ _ _ _ _

_____“Donghyuck, this is my girlfriend Britney.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Britney sticks out her hand towards Donghyuck who takes it in his own, forcing a smile as her fake acrylic nails dig slightly into the skin of his palm._ _ _ _ _

_____“It's nice to meet you,” he says, forcing down the urge to speak through clenched teeth. Donghyuck isn’t sure why he already dislikes her despite knowing her for all of five seconds, but it takes an incredible amount of effort to keep up appearances in front of her._ _ _ _ _

_____Deep down, Donghyuck knows exactly why he dislikes her and it’s got nothing to do with her fake lashes or the sickly sweet tone of her voice._ _ _ _ _

_____The blonde smiles back, face scrunching up just a little too much to be considered genuine._ _ _ _ _

_____“Likewise,” she quips before directing a pout at Jaehyun._ _ _ _ _

_____“Hyunnie, you promised you’d get off work early to go to that one restaurant I was telling you about.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck internally shivers in disgust at the pet name, trying his best to ignore the bile rising up in his throat. Jaehyun’s eyes — which had been previously glued to Donghyuck — suddenly flit down in her direction._ _ _ _ _

_____“Oh yeah, of course. I’ll go get ready and be out in a sec. Why don’t you go wait in the car?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun speaks quickly, almost as if impatient, but his smile is ever-present, those stupidly cute dimples creating crescent moons in the flesh of his cheeks._ _ _ _ _

_____“Okay!” She answers chirpily, leaning up on her tippy toes to press a lip-smacking kiss on Jaehyun's mouth before turning towards Donghyuck, her blonde hair swishing around in her high ponytail._ _ _ _ _

_____“Bye, Donghyuck!” The lilt in her voice makes Donghyuck want to gag but he keeps a sweet smile on his face as he bids her goodbye, one hand raised in a small wave._ _ _ _ _

_____“She’s nice,” Donghyuck comments once she’s out of earshot, eyes widening when Jaehyun lets out a snort. Apparently Donghyuck hadn’t managed to keep out the distaste in his tone as well as he had hoped._ _ _ _ _

_____“She is. I like her,” Jaehyun says slowly, his eyes on Donghyuck almost as if he’s trying to gauge his reaction. He seems… amused, almost. Donghyuck finds it a little unsettling. He shakes out his hair a bit and crosses his arms as he clears his throat, not meeting the olders gaze._ _ _ _ _

_____“Well, she’s your girlfriend. Isn’t it kind of a given that you like her?” Donghyuck states more than asks, daring to glance up at Jaehyun once again. Jaehyun merely shrugs, a weird sort of smile playing on his lips that makes Donghyuck’s cheeks feel even hotter._ _ _ _ _

_____“Anyways, you heard her.” Jaehyun jerks his head towards, presumably, the direction of his car. “I need to go get ready.”_ _ _ _ _

_____With that, Jaehyun takes ahold of the bottom of his tank-top, pulling the fabric over his head as Donghyuck prays to every deity in the universe that the older won’t notice the way Donghyuck’s eyes immediately find themselves looking at his toned abdomen and the beautiful chest piece of a dragon that decorates his skin._ _ _ _ _

_____“About that drink,” Jaehyun says as he tosses the piece of clothing to the side and Donghyuck’s eyes snap up to Jaehyun’s face. Jaehyun pauses briefly, the ghost of a smirk gracing his features before they turn a little worried, his bottom lip pulled between his teeth. “Um, text me and we can agree on a day.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck can’t help the way his jaw opens, not having expected the answer that falls from Jaehyun’s lips._ _ _ _ _

_____“Just as friends though, right?” The older smiles politely, walking back a few steps to collect a duffle bag that sits against the wall behind him, slinging the strap over his exposed shoulder._ _ _ _ _

_____“Um, yeah of course.” Donghyuck manages not to stutter, sounding a little breathless. “Just as friends.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck manages to give him a tight lipped smile as he starts to walk backwards, suddenly itching to get out of the place as he feels the air begin to suffocate him. He can feel the way Jaehyun’s eyes trail after him, almost making him trip over one of the tires that lies discarded on the ground._ _ _ _ _

_____“I’ll text you then. Bye, Jaehyun.” He turns around fully after the goodbye, still feeling the burn of Jaehyuns gaze on the back of his neck as he exits the garage._ _ _ _ _

_____“Bye… Donghyuck.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck walks home that day in the afternoon sun, a weird feeling brewing deep inside his stomach and Jaehyun’s leather jacket still safely stored inside the bag hanging from his shoulders._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____Donghyuck watches the droplets of condensation slowly slide down the side of his glass, thumb drawing idle circles on the table. Jaehyun is late, almost forty minutes late, and yet the thought of him arriving at any moment makes tiny beads of sweat form at Donghyuck’s nape. He's nervous, just as he was the day he went to the repair shop. He's starting to regret ever texting Jaehyun in the first place._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck had considered that maybe he could never text Jaehyun and just let the incident go as just an awkward encounter and move on, but then there’s the issue of the leather jacket that needs to be returned. A leather jacket that currently lies folded over the arm of Donghyuck’s sofa back home._ _ _ _ _

_____Okay, so maybe the leather jacket isn’t the reason behind Donghyuck caving and texting Jaehyun a few nights prior to meet him at one of the bars they used to frequent together, but Donghyuck ignores the thought. His leg bounces in anticipation as he continues to wait, trying not to give in to his habit of biting at his nails._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck heaves out a sigh as he slips his phone out of the pocket of his jeans._ _ _ _ _

_____Just as he’s about to distract himself with some mindless game, he hears the scrape of a wooden chair from across the table. He’s quick to straighten up from his slouched position as Jaehyun sits down in front of him, wearing an apologetic smile._ _ _ _ _

_____“Sorry I’m late. Got caught up in traffic. Have you been waiting long?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck shakes his head._ _ _ _ _

_____“No worries, I got here about five minutes ago.” He lies easily, despite not entirely knowing why. Jaehyun glances at the glass on the table and raises an eyebrow._ _ _ _ _

_____“They must have fast service then.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck doesn't let the nervous churn of his stomach get to him as he responds. “For a pretty young thing like me sitting alone in a bar? The service is always fast.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun chuckles at the statement. “Fair enough.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck smiles as he notices the way Jaehyun seems to drink him in, silently pleased at his choice of outfit. The dainty silver chain that hangs from his neck is a pretty contrast to his golden skin that is revealed by the undone buttons of his silk shirt._ _ _ _ _

_____After a waiter comes to take Jaehyun’s order of drink, the older leans forward on the table, directing his undivided attention back at Donghyuck._ _ _ _ _

_____“So, how’ve you been?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck leans back a bit in his chair, putting distance between them as his nose picks up on the faint scent of Jaehyun’s cologne, the smell making him feel dizzy. “Oh nothing much, going to work, visiting friends, catching up on Netflix shows. The usual, really.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck, of course, doesn’t mention the countless nights he’s spent out in clubs, ending up in strangers' arms for the night only to cry himself to sleep once back in the safety of his own apartment. Jaehyun doesn’t need to know about all that._ _ _ _ _

_____The older responds in kind by talking about his own day-to-day life and before Donghyuck knows it, the conversation is in full swing._ _ _ _ _

_____It’s ridiculous really, how easy it is for the two of them to talk, falling back into the rhythm as if the last few months had never transpired. There’s a voice at the back of Donghyuck’s mind though, one that constantly reminds him of the fact that this was exactly why he had broken it off in the first place._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun made it so easy to feel safe, wrapping Donghyuck up in a cocoon of love and affection while shielding him from all the bad in the world, which mostly included Donghyuck’s own mind. One that loves to work against him._ _ _ _ _

_____That’s exactly what makes Donghyuck so scared._ _ _ _ _

_____He’d sworn off long-term relationships after he’d had his heart broken one too many times, only serving to prove his mother right as she had told him that finding love was futile after the marriage between her and Donghyuck’s father ended in divorce._ _ _ _ _

_____It wasn’t until Jaehyun came into his life that Donghyuck had once again found himself in a relationship lasting longer than a few weeks, the man easily finding his home in every corner of Donghyuck’s life._ _ _ _ _

_____As soon as Donghyuck realized that he was slowly but surely falling in love, he’d cut Jaehyun out of his life completely.. The vivid image of Jaehyun’s broken expression after Donghyuck told him to get out flashes up in his mind._ _ _ _ _

_____Looking at him now, Donghyuck wonders why Jaehyun currently sits in front of him, an easy smile on his face. He pushes the thought to the side, choosing to pay attention to the conversation instead._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck laughs genuinely at Jaehyun’s crazy work story, bringing a hand up to cover his mouth as he props himself up with his elbows on the table. Jaehyun leans back in his seat, eyes crinkling up in a grin, his gaze still on Donghyuck even after his fit of laughter had died down._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck feels his stomach flutter airily, heat gathering at his cheeks as he tilts his head at Jaehyun._ _ _ _ _

_____“What?” He asks, shy as a grin of his own pulls at his lips under Jaehyun's gaze._ _ _ _ _

_____“I missed your laugh.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck lets out a giggle, feeling light headed despite the fact that he hasn’t even finished his first drink. He brings his eyes up to Jaehyun’s again, only to have his heart stutter in his chest as he sees Jaehyun’s eyes roaming over his figure, catching at the dip of Donghyuck’s collarbone._ _ _ _ _

_____The younger shifts in his chair, a fire spreading out through his body, increasing in heat as their eyes meet and they both stare at each other, almost as if daring the other to back down._ _ _ _ _

_____Neither of them do._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____The surface of the bathroom sink is cold under Donghyuck’s bare ass as Jaehyun hoists him up onto it, further slipping down his jeans and underwear._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck isn’t sure how exactly they got to this point, his memory gone hazy after the little staring contest they had earlier. He can’t really bring himself to care with the way Jaehyun’s lips are pressing against his, tongues intertwining and hot breaths mingling in their open-mouthed kiss. Jaehyun bites down hard on Donghyuck’s bottom lip just as his hands press into Donghyuck’s thighs, eliciting a moan from the younger’s mouth._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck’s hands come up to tangle in Jaehyun’s soft brown strands, tugging and scratching until the older is whining into his mouth Jaehyun pulls for a short second before latching onto the skin underneath Donghyuck’s jaw, one of the hands that had been kneading into Donghyuck’s thighs coming up to tilt his head back. The younger lets out an audible gasp as Jaehyun easily finds the most sensitive spot on his neck, biting and sucking on the skin._ _ _ _ _

_____The silk fabric of Donghyucks shirt is pulled to the side as Jaehyun works open the buttons, his mouth never ceasing its ministrations at Donghyuck’s neck as he continues on his downward path. When his teeth graze along one of Donghyuck’s nipples, the younger instinctively arches his back._ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck, Jae,” he breathes out, his voice high-pitched._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun chuckles against his chest, licking at the sensitive bud and enjoying the way Donghyuck writhes underneath his touch._ _ _ _ _

_____“You were always so sensitive, baby. It’s cute.” He punctuates the last word with another wet kiss and Donghyuck reciprocates by tugging even harder at the soft strands of Jaehyun’s hair. The older starts to suck against the skin of his stomach, leaving lovebites in his wake as he goes lower and lower, eventually ending on his knees as he hovers above Donghyuck’s core._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun's lips move achingly slow against the insides of Donghyuck’s golden thighs, and even though Donghyuck feels impatient, the heat building inside him bit by bit makes him feel like he’s floating. It makes him realize just how bad he’s missed this. Jaehyun’s touch, the feeling of his lips and tongue against Donghyuck’s searing skin, the way he blows cold air over every inch that his tongue has touched, making goosebumps rise across his body._ _ _ _ _

_____The bolt of electricity that shoots through him as Jaehyun’s lips wrap around his member is enough to rip Donghyuck out of his thoughts, his eyes immediately focusing on the man between his legs. Donghyuck brushes the fringe out of Jaehyun’s face, sucking in a sharp breath as Jaehyun starts to go down, eyes looking up at Donghyuck through those pretty long lashes of his._ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck.” Donghyuck curses as he exhales through his nose, head lolling back as waves of pleasure pulsate through his body. “Missed this so much, Jae. Missed you so much.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck can’t think, unable to process the words as he lets them tumble out of his mouth and the weight that they carry. All he knows is that they’re true. He missed this._ _ _ _ _

_____He missed _Jaehyun_._ _ _ _ _

_____The hum Jaehyun lets out around the head of Donghyuck’s cock makes the latter force himself to look at the older again, moaning at how pretty Jaehyun’s lips look like this, traces of precum leaking down the side of his mouth. Jaehyun pulls back entirely for a second to let a smirk grace his lips before blowing cold air against Donghyuck’s sensitive tip, drawing out a guttural noise from the younger._ _ _ _ _

_____Hollowing his cheeks, Jaehyun takes him in his mouth once more, this time lowering until his nose touches against Donghyuck’s belly. He swallows, feeling the way Donghyuck’s dick twitches in his mouth._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun starts bobbing up and down quicker , spurred on by the breathy moans and the broken words of praise that spill out of Donghyuck’s lips, watching in adoration as the younger starts to fall apart above him, hands gripping at the edges of counter until his knuckles are almost white in colour._ _ _ _ _

_____The heat that’s been building at the core of Donghyuck’s stomach reaches its climax, sending him over the edge until all he sees is white, senses on overdrive. His body falls lax shortly after that and it takes a while for him to come to, resting his head in the crook of Jaehyun’s shoulder as the older finishes buttoning up his shirt._ _ _ _ _

_____With some of his strength regained, Donghyuck gently pushes Jaehyun back so that he can slide off the surface of the counter, Jaehyun’s hands finding his own as they help pull up his boxers and jeans. Donghyuck lets Jaehyun work on slipping his belt back into its buckle, a warmth still bubbling inside of him._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun catches Donghyuck’s eye as the younger observes him, a soft smile lighting up his face, highlighting his flushed cheeks and his dimples. Donghyuck’s mind short-circuits at the sight, so much emotion swelling up inside him that he doesn’t think twice before cupping Jaehyun’s cheeks, leaning up on his tippy toes to press their lips together in a kiss that is so tender it makes Donghyuck’s heart squeeze painfully in his chest._ _ _ _ _

_____It feels like a memory. The strong arms that wrap around Donghyuck’s waist, bringing their bodies flush together, warm breath fanning across his face as soft lips work magic against his own. Except that it’s not a memory and Jaehyun is very much real in the way he kisses him and holds him after making him cum in a bathroom at the back of a bar. Jaehyun is real…_ _ _ _ _

_____...and so is his girlfriend._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck pulls away as if electrocuted, his whole body feeling like he was just thrown into ice-cold water. He feels dirty, ashamed as he quickly pries himself out of Jaehyun’s grasp._ _ _ _ _

_____“Donghyuck?”_ _ _ _ _

_____The younger doesn’t answer him as he starts to back away, catching his reflection in the mirror for a split second only to see the marks littered across his skin, causing him to recoil further._ _ _ _ _

_____“Donghyuck, baby, what’s wrong?”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Don’t call me that,” Donghyuck breathes out, surprised at just how shaky his voice sounds. “You can’t— I can’t— We can’t—” The words get stuck in Donghyuck’s throat as a sick feeling overtakes his insides._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun steps closer, hands outstretched, concern evident in the lines of his face. “Breathe, Donghyuck.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck does breathe then, gulping down a breath of air, his mind easy to comply to Jaehyun’s request as if it comes as second nature to him. Maybe because it does. Once his breath is steady enough, he takes another step backward, hand reaching out to unlock the door._ _ _ _ _

_____“This was a mistake, Jaehyun. We shouldn’t have done this.” Donghyuck’s voice breaks at the end as he fights to blink away the tears that are suddenly blurring his vision. “I’m sorry— I’m so sorry.”_ _ _ _ _

_____With that Donghyuck rips open the door, not caring for the judgemental looks thrown his way as he maneuvers through the bar and out through it’s front doors._ _ _ _ _

_____Stepping out into the city that has since been covered by the cloak of night, Donghyuck is thankful for the cool breeze that greets him, drying away the tears as he walks through the streets._ _ _ _ _

_____He doesn’t allow himself to think until his back hits his mattress hours later. Tears sting at his eyes once again as he thinks of the blue and purple stains that paint his body, knowing that no matter how hard he scrubs at them, they’ll last for days and days, serving as a constant reminder of his regret._ _ _ _ _

* * *

_____The TV screen casts flashes of colour throughout the dark space of Donghyuck’s apartment, lighting up his face in different hues of reds and blues and greens as he continues to mindlessly flip through the channels. The balcony doors are once again wide open, letting in the night air and bringing the temperature down to almost chilly._ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck is leaning back against the couch, a warm blanket covering the exposed skin of his legs and his upper body being swallowed up by a hoodie. Jaehyun’s hoodie, because of course he’s wearing Jaehyun’s hoodie. Despite everything, it still brings him comfort._ _ _ _ _

_____It’s been a week since their last encounter and Donghyuck has heard nothing from the older. He doesn’t know why the radio silence pains him so greatly, doesn’t know what he had expected to happen. Initially, Donghyuck didn’t even think he could bring himself to face Jaehyun after what had happened, but as the days went by he found himself hoping for, well, anything._ _ _ _ _

_____He feels quite pathetic, curled in on himself on his couch with his ex-boyfriends hoodie pulled over his frame, the remnants of the dark blue flowers on his skin still visible, and nothing but said ex-boyfriend on the mind._ _ _ _ _

_____One of the strings of the hoodie ends up in Donghyuck’s mouth as he gets lost in his own mind, guilt trickling in as he thinks of the fact that he now has to label himself a cheater. Granted, he wasn’t technically the guilty party, but he still played a role in it. He initiated it, whether it was intentional or not, by inviting Jaehyun to that damn drink._ _ _ _ _

_____Sure, Donghyuck isn’t particularly fond of Jaehyun’s new girlfriend, in fact, he pretty much despised her on sight. Still, that didn’t mean that he didn't feel awful about it. Cheating is a horrible thing. Donghyuck should know, his parents got divorced because of it. To this day, Donghyuck still can’t look his father in the eye knowing what he had done to his mom. Yet here he is._ _ _ _ _

_____The worst part is that even though Donghyuck is well aware of the fact that it was wrong, he can't help but let his thoughts drift back to the moment time and time again, the feeling of Jaehyun all over him still fresh in his mind. He craves it. Craves to have that feeling back._ _ _ _ _

_____Craves to have Jaehyun back._ _ _ _ _

_____A loud knock at the door has Donghyuck jolting upright, the hoodie string falling out of his mouth as he picks up his phone, flipping it over to check the time. The clock on his phone reads a quarter to midnight and Donghyuck wracks his brain for any possible person that could be behind that door._ _ _ _ _

_____It couldn’t be Jaemin, could it? No, Donghyuck knows his friend would have called or at least texted. Maybe one of his neighbours was here to borrow something?_ _ _ _ _

_____The last thing Donghyuck expects when he opens his front door is to come face to face with the man occupying his mind._ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun stands before him, a pattern of droplets of rain decorating part of his clothes and hair slightly damp. He looks at him for a moment, Donghyuck frozen in place under his gaze._ _ _ _ _

_____“I broke up with my girlfriend.”_ _ _ _ _

_____Donghyuck nods slowly at the information, grip tight on the door handle as he stands there in nothing but socks and a hoodie — Jaehyun’s hoodie. There are too many thoughts racing through his mind for him to be able to focus on just one. Words eluding him, Donghyuck is left to open and close his mouth like a fish out of water._ _ _ _ _

_____“Shit, okay,” Jaehyun starts as he rakes his fingers through his hair in the same way he always does. “This is probably going to be a mess but please hear me out?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Clamping his mouth shut, Donghyuck nods again, his heart starting to thunder just like the sky outside of his apartment._ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck, okay. I know it’d been months since we broke it off, but God, Hyuck. I still couldn’t get you out of my mind. It was like everything made me think of you. I, well, I kind of jumped into a relationship with Brit because I hoped she would serve as a distraction, and I know that’s shitty.” Jaehyun pauses to collect his thoughts, pushing his tongue into his cheek. “But to be fair she didn’t seem to want anything really serious either. Hell, we’d only been dating for like two weeks when you showed up at the shop. God, when I saw you… It was like my world started spinning again—”_ _ _ _ _

_____Jaehyun bites down on his bottom lip for a second, eyes coming up to meet Donghyuck’s from where they’d previously been trained on the floor. “Believe me, I know how cheesy that sounds.” He says through a shy chuckle._ _ _ _ _

_____The smile that finds its way onto Donghyuck’s face is easy, his stomach starting to fill up with the familiar warm feeling once again._ _ _ _ _

_____“But it’s the truth and when you asked to meet up I was so surprised— I felt myself spending the next few days just waiting for your text. When it finally came I could barely sleep the day before I got to see you again. What happened in that bathroom…” Donghyuck’s breath hitches at the words, fingers tightening again after they had just begun to relax._ _ _ _ _

_____“While I don’t think the circumstances were ideal, I don’t regret it.”_ _ _ _ _

_____The younger physically feels the weight on his chest getting lighter at Jaehyun’s words. He leans forward just the tiniest bit, waiting for Jaehyun to continue._ _ _ _ _

_____“I know we weren’t perfect and I know that some people would call me crazy for going back to the person that hurt me as much as you did. Because you did hurt me, Hyuck.” Donghyuck nods, a tear suddenly escaping down his cheek. He swipes it away quickly, surprised at how fast his vision had gotten blurry. There’s warm hands pressed against the sides the next second as Jaehyun steps closer._ _ _ _ _

_____They’re almost at eye level now, Jaehyun still outside in the hallway where the floor is lower than inside the apartment. “Hey, I’m not innocent in this scenario either. I know that I pushed you when you weren’t ready. I rushed into things because I was just so crazy about you and I disregarded a lot of your insecurities in the process. But…_ _ _ _ _

_____...I’d love to try again. I promise I will love you the way you deserve to be loved if you’ll have me, Lee Donghyuck.”_ _ _ _ _

_____“Fuck.” Donghyuck croaks out before reaching forward to connect their lips in a kiss that is as clumsy as it is endearing, leaning their foreheads together after they part. “Of course— of course I’ll have you. I love you so much, Jae. And that scares me, a lot.” He breathes out, fingers playing with the ends of Jaehyun’s cardigan. “But I want to try this. I want to do this, to have _this _with you, and goddammit I will put in my all to make this work.”___ _ _ _ _

_______Jaehyun’s smile is near blinding as his hands find purchase on Donghyuck’s nape pulling him in for another kiss. Donghyuck backs them up, hands still holding on to the ends of Jaehyun’s cardigan as he finally tugs him inside the apartment._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______They part to catch their breath, Donghyuck immediately leaning up to press butterfly kisses against Jaehyun’s cheeks as the older giggles. Donghyuck leaves him only to close and lock his front door, turning back around to see Jaehyun looking at his upper body with his eyebrows raised._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Is that my hoodie?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______The younger feels his cheeks heat up as he avoids Jaehyun’s gaze, something that serves to be greatly amusing for the older. “Maybe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Cute.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Donghyuck rolls his eyes at the stupidly fond expression on Jaehyun’s face, leaning up to kiss the corner of his mouth as he intertwines their hands. “Wanna head to bed, baby?”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Damn. Already? We barely got back together five minutes ago, babe.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______The comment promptly earns Jaehyun a smack against his arm. “Not like that, you heathen.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Jaehyun leans down to kiss away the annoyed pout on Donghyuck’s lips, moving down to place kisses along his neck and blowing air against the skin as he does, successfully managing to tickle the younger and enjoying the way Donghyuck squirms in his hold, laughing._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______He places a final kiss on the crown of Donghyuck’s head after the little tickling session comes to an end,interlacing their fingers once again._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______“Okay, baby. Let’s head to bed.”_ _ _ _ _ _ _

* * *

_______Donghyuck stares at the crack in his bedroom wall as he lies there, Jaehyun pressed up against him from behind, soft puffs of air tickling the hairs at the back of Donghyuck’s neck. The room is peaceful, quiet except for the soft sound of drizzle and the sounds of a nearly sleeping city filtering in through the open window. It must be nearing the four am mark, but the butterflies in Donghyuck’s stomach are keeping him awake. He feels safe, content to be in the arms of the person he loves the most. Jaehyun, who wears his heart on his sleeve for the world to see, but only for Donghyuck to own._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______In the darkness of the room, visible only thanks to the blue shimmer of the moon, Donghyuck’s eyes wander over to the far corner. There, folded neatly over the back of his desk chair, lays a vintage brown leather jacket._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______Donghyuck smiles to himself as he snuggles further into Jaehyun’s warm embrace._ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______He’ll return it eventually._ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Author's Note:**

> ღ leave some love ღ
> 
> kudos/comments are greatly appreciated!
> 
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